august, december

I've finally figured out
we're somewhere between
between the end of the line and the middle of nowhere

here I am
in this empty space
living on my own
trying to touch the edge

I want to be good
I want to be God 

please don’t wake me

no don’t shake me

leave me where I am

I look on my fingers

lazily

I scratch my arms

time hangs

heavily

I scratch my legs

shouting your name

and there’s no escape

it started five years ago

in August, and now

do you remember September

will you stay in December

more, less

tell me

if you were to die tonight

would you be proud of yourself

of all the stars you’ve seen

of all the sunsets you’ve felt on your skin

of the music you’ve heard

and of her shoulders you’ve touched

of all those nights that ended

and of all the mornings that finally came

of your smiles

of tears you’ve left behind

or maybe

of your house

of money you’ve spent

of how much and how many

which never has and never will

matter

to me

light, gloom

Well that kind of love

is the killing kind

I am a shadow

I am a moonchild

I have no body, have I

I don’t exist, do I

I can’t stand no more, can I

I won’t survive here, will I

Who are you all

Who are all those people

passing by

am I the center

of the Universe?

I hear them

crashing

smashing

screaming

and bleeding

at night

I open my eyes

with a crash

light

enlighten me

gloom

absorb me

hey you

talk to me sometimes

I wonder

where and who are you dying with