darkness, nothingness

‘I was always an unusual girl. My mother told me that I had a chameleon soul, 

no moral compass pointing me due north, no fixed personality.’

I belong to no one. I have nothing. And I want everything.

Sometimes I wish I had many lives. And sometimes I really believe it.

I’m on so many ways. Two steps forward, one step back, three steps left, and another step right.

Is there anybody in there?

But I keep going, it’s time to go, because once we were born, we can never stop.

And once we grew up, we can never come back.

I want to scream, I want to shout, I want to run round and round. 

And wanting me to change would be a great harm for me.

We’ve got a war to fight, regardless of what everybody says.

You should be glad you are not me.

I think too much. My mind never stops and causes me headaches. 

I don’t want to die. Never. I don’t want to be taken by that scary nothingness. 

It will be the end for all of my lives.

And my tears are like pearls, falling down and smashing up into pieces.

A flutter of my lashes causes an earthquake on the dark side of the moon.

My senses are sharpened. I can see in the dark. 

Landing softly on my four legs, with a single leap, I move to the other side.

Fire, walk with me.

* And the Earth, you’ll see, the Earth won’t be the Earth, it won’t hold you.

* And the Water, you’ll see, the Water won’t be the Water, it won’t cool you.

* And the Wind, you’ll see, the Wind won’t be the Wind, it won’t calm you.

* And the Fire, you’ll see, the Fire won’t be the Fire, you won’t wade through it.

And when she stops loving you, you’ll see the Night in a middle of a day, 

and a black sky instead of stars. 

You’ll see everything what I have seen.