event horizon

Maybe one day I’ll be an honest girl.

Long roads, long days, of sunrise to sunset.

I’m doing the best I can.

Is there an answer upon us?

Who came from the stars thousands of years ago?

Who explained us the world and then just disappeared, 

leaving that stupid nation on its own?

I can’t believe it, I can’t, I’m trying so hard and I’m not able to do it, 

my entire body’s screaming,

is negating it, denying. I hear screams, voices, 

I see hands like giant spiders coming to me, touching me, 

trying to get me, to catch me, cold, dead hands.

And I see moles.

And I knew you were different, you are different, 

at least, you had been different before I learned everything about you. 

And now I am naked, and you are naked, we both are 

and we are floating in that black vacuum full of stars.

You were my event horizon. I crossed the border 

and there’s nothing on the other side. 

Do you understand?

I can’t come back.

 I’ve left my body here because it is too heavy to bring it with me.

But she has stayed and she’s pretending me.

Watch out.